How To Become "A Care Free Sleeper"

If You have found yourself on my sleep page it is probably because you are having significant problems sleeping at night. You may be unable to get to sleep or you may be waking in the night unable to get back to sleep.

If so don't despair I can help you get back to sleeping well but you will have to do a little bit of work and have a bit of patience.

Why Do You Develop Chronic Insomnia?

Let’s break it down with a common scenario:

It likely started with something disrupting your sleep—perhaps a cold, a stressful period at work, or even grief. But here’s the key: the initial sleep disturbance isn’t what causes chronic insomnia.

The Cycle of Insomnia

Your response to those sleepless nights is what keeps the cycle going:

• You lie in bed, anxiously trying to force sleep.
• Worry sets in: How will I function tomorrow?
• Eventually, you doze off at dawn, waking later than usual.
• Throughout the day, a nagging worry creeps in: What if I can’t sleep again tonight?
• You start associating your bed with stress, not rest.

To compensate, you might nap or sleep in, which makes falling asleep at night even harder. Then panic sets in about not getting the "perfect" eight hours.

You try everything—meditation, supplements, lavender sprays—but nothing seems to work. You start researching the dangers of sleep deprivation, which only fuels more anxiety.

The Real Cause

For most people, chronic insomnia isn’t about a broken sleep system—it's about anxiety around sleep and spending too much time in bed. The more you stress about it, the worse it gets.

But the good news? Understanding this cycle is the first step to breaking free from it.

What You Need To Sleep

To sleep well you need three things to be in balance. 

1. A good sleep drive
2. A low hyper-arousal state
3. A good circadian rhythm

Your sleep drive is basically your need for sleep. So first thing in the morning after a good nights sleep your sleep drive will be very low. During the day when you are going about your daily activities your sleep drive starts to increase so that by bedtime your sleep drive should be at its highest level, ready for sleep. If however you disrupt your sleep drive for instance by napping during the day, getting up late at weekends etc it will be much harder for you to get to sleep.

The second thing that influences your ability to sleep is known as hyper-arousal. This is a bit like excitability, if you were ever excited about something as a child you may remember not being able to get to sleep easily and lying awake in bed?

With chronic insomnia you develop a hyper-arousal state which is usually linked to the worry and anxiety you feel about not being able to sleep. So for instance when you lie in bed worrying about not sleeping, your fight or flight stress response is activated, your body releases cortisol, you feel hot, your heart starts to race and you become very alert so that you can fight off the perceived danger. 

Unfortunately your brain starts to associate this perceived danger with your bed and you brain learns that bed is a dangerous place to be.  

Now when you go to bed even if your sleep drive is high you are on ‘red alert’ and the chances of you actually falling asleep are much reduced.

The third thing you need is a really good circadian rhythm. Your circadian rhythm is basically a timetable your body can follow so that it knows what to do next and when. 

It's a bit like when you were at school and you had a timetable, everyone knew where they should be and at what time. The school day ran smoothly.

If there had been no timetable school would have been chaotic and no one would ever have learnt anything.

Your body is the same, it needs a timetable so that it knows what to do next and when. So waking up at the same time every day is really important when you have insomnia

1.  Go to bed at the same time every day & get up at the same time too
2. Only use your bed for sleep (very important) you need to start associating your bed with sleep not being awake.
3. If you can’t get to sleep after 20 minutes, get up and do something you enjoy (avoid computer screens or your phone)
4. During the night do not look at any clock (your brain will associate clock watching with anxiety)
5. No napping during the day
6. Stop using any sleep tracking devices and remove all your sleep supplements/ sleep aids etc.

Things to consider about sleep -  we all get enough sleep to survive. Just like breathing sleep is an automatic process so stop worrying that you are not getting any sleep at all.  Your body will get sleep if it needs it. (it may not be enough for you to feel refreshed but you will get enough)

There is no evidence that not sleeping enough causes all sorts of terrible things to happen to you, let go of this thought.

Sleep hygiene measures are useful but don't obsess about them. When you slept well I bet you didn't even think about sleep hygiene.

You don't need expensive supplements to sleep, stop wasting your money.

We were all born with the ability to sleep, your brain has just intervened to prevent you doing it well at the moment.

You can sleep well again.

If you need further assistance download my e-book "The Insomnia Fix"   A Proven 3-Step Plan to Sleep Through the Night.